Over powering thoughts are the worst. What even?
Something could be going great you could even call it perfect. Until.. Helloo anxiety! You come in and make me over think absolutely every possible thing in my head. Then make the situation 100 times worse.
Why do I try to make decisions myself?
I actually didn’t mean to hurt you.
Why do I keep doing this?
I hate dealing with things. I always try to be independent and deal with stuff on my own, then I just over think everything to the slightest and even far fetched possibilities. It’s honestly the worst feeling ever.
I know I’m still pretty messed up. I’ve been through a whole load of shit in my life to even get where I am today.
But then, I always feel second best. Why? Then the obstacles that always appear in the way. The slightest thing to annoy me. That’s what gets me. It’s pathetic.
I can say it over one hundred times. But it’s like people don’t even know how to deal with me as it is, neither do I sometimes. So how are you expected to understand me?
It’s so many questions with no answer.
And for those whom I have hurt.. I actually don’t expect anything from you. I only want for you to understand that I don’t want to ruin your life. But, I do love you. And, I’m always here for you 100% and I’m truly sorry for being like this.
Lots of love,